Halloween is the one night of the year when most of us open the door to strangers on purpose. Kids you have never met walk up your steps, say three words, and you hand them something for free. That is a pretty good setup for kindness already. A few small Halloween acts of kindness can make it better for everyone on your street, including the people who never knock.
Here in Rochester, the night tends to come with its own conditions. Maybe it is 38 degrees and drizzling. Maybe the costumes are being worn over winter coats. Maybe the leaves are wet and the sidewalk is dark by six. None of that has ever stopped a determined seven-year-old. It just means the small stuff matters a little more.
Turn the porch light on and leave it on
The porch light is the oldest signal there is. On is welcome. Off is not tonight. If you are home and willing, leave it on, and leave it on a little longer than you think you need to. Some kids get a late start. Some parents get home from work at 6:45 and still want their kid to have a few houses.
While you are out there, clear the path. Rake the wet leaves off the steps. Move the hose. Put the pumpkin somewhere a small person in a cape will not trip over it. Nobody will thank you for the steps they did not slip on. That is the point.
Compliment the costume, even if you have no idea what it is
You will meet a kid dressed as something you cannot identify. A character from a show you have never seen. A homemade thing involving a box and a lot of tape. Ask them who they are. Let them explain. Tell them it is great.
That ten-second conversation might be the best part of their night. Kids notice who looks at them and who just holds out the bowl. It costs you nothing to be the house that asked.
Be easy on the ones who are "too old"
Every year some tall kid shows up in a half costume, a hoodie and a plastic mask, voice already changed. You might be tempted to say something. Do not. A teenager who still wants to walk around the neighborhood with friends on Halloween is doing something pretty harmless. Give them the candy. Say happy Halloween. They will remember who was decent about it.
Same goes for the shy ones who cannot get the words out. Skip the "what do you say?" quiz. They will say thank you on the way down the steps, or they won't. Either way, you did your part.
Think about the people who are not trick-or-treating
Not everyone on your street is having a fun night. Some neighbors find the doorbell stressful. Some have a dog that loses its mind at every knock. Some just go to bed early. If their light is off, steer your crew past. If you are walking a group of kids, keep them off the lawns and out of the flower beds.
And if you know an older neighbor who loves seeing the kids but cannot sit by the door all night, offer to bring a couple of kids by early. Or drop off a few pieces of candy and a note. Kindness does not have to be big. It just has to be noticed by the person it is for.
Simple Halloween acts of kindness for the rest of the night
- Slow down on the side streets. Dark costumes, dark evenings, and kids who dart between parked cars. Drive like every shadow might be a small dinosaur.
- Pick up the wrappers. The morning after, the sidewalks in most neighborhoods look like a parade went by. Grab what is in front of your house and the next one over.
- Keep a few extras. Somebody's kid will drop their bag. Somebody's will rip. A spare treat or an extra bag fixes the whole night.
- Wave at the other parents. They are cold, they are tired, and they have been saying "walk, please" for two hours. A nod goes a long way.
- Bring the bowl inside when you are done. Then turn the light off so the next group knows. Clear signals are a kindness too.
Why the small stuff counts
Halloween runs on trust. Parents trust that the houses with lights on are friendly. Kids trust that the grown-ups will be nice to them. Neighbors trust that the crowds will be gone by nine and the lawns will survive. Every porch light, every patient answer, every slowed-down car keeps that trust going for one more year.
Nobody keeps score on Halloween. You will not get a thank-you card from the kid in the box costume. But a lot of us remember the house that gave out the good stuff, or the neighbor who made a fuss over our homemade costume. Somebody did that for you once. Now it is your turn.
If you like wearing the idea around, the Small Kindnesses collection is a good place to start. Made to order, which means if you want something for late November, now is the time to look.
Go hold the door for someone. You'll never know how far it goes.